I found a new author, new to me that is, Canadian Margaret Laurence, a novelist. I don’t usually read fiction but was drawn to “The Stone Angel” because it’s about a 90 year old woman who’s not ready to ‘pack it in yet. It’s about her process of coming to terms with her decline and mortality. It’s an accurate picture of what it’s like to grow old and lose your independence. I relate to and sympathize with not only Hagar Shipley, the old woman, but also with her daughter-in-law who is her caretaker until she is moved into a nursing home.
I was formerly the one and now I’m the other. But not quite. I have no one to care for me, should I ever need a caretaker. If I want to die at home, I’ll need enough funds to hire caretakers. It’s a difficult position to be in. One wants to live, but one also wants to die before the funds run out. I pray for good health and a fast death, when the time comes.
A morbid subject? Yes, but at my age, you think about those things.
On a much more pleasant note, I spent the day posting some poems on my poem page. And sorting through more books. I’m afraid the ‘keeper’ box is filling up much faster than the ‘donate’ box. I find books I’ve misplaced and ones I’d forgotten I had. I want to stop and read so many of them, but if I do, I’ll never get this job done. It’s a good feeling to know that they’re there waiting to be read when I have the time.