Lonely Tonight

I sit in bed, computer on my lap, TV on.  We had a severe storm earlier with high winds.  The lights blinked for a few seconds and I looked for the flashlight, but didn’t need it after all.

This is the day Audrey was supposed to arrive.  Her bed I ordered from Amazon arrived a week ago.  I took it out of the box and it’s been waiting.  How many times did I imagine her in it?  And the pretty collar?

The bed is still empty.  And it will never hold Audrey girl.

It’s amazing how I bonded with her having never seen her face to face.  It’s much like I felt when I carried my children.  You imagine and plan and wait.  I’m doing a kind of grieving.

Linda said she would send me some one else instead.  She also broke her foot stumbling over a cat and can’t take another to the airport right away, so there will be another wait.

It’s all right.  I don’t have any feelings for a new one right now.  I need to say goodbye to Audrey in my mind, though I know she’ll always be in my heart.