oldsunbird

"I have been more outrageous and more alone and more courageous than the world has known. Passerby, my heart is like your own."

Too Much Bad News

Beulah, one of my closest friends, died unexpectedly Thursday.  I’m still in shock.  Skip, her husband, has been ill for several years and everyone thought he would go before Beulah.  As a matter of fact, he’s been in ICU for over a week.

I don’t have details.  Don’t know if she had a stroke or died of a heart attack or what.  She was home alone.  Her daughter found her.

Beulah was such a lovely, caring, upbeat person.  When she walked into a room, the sun came with her.  She worried about her husband so much and I think she must have neglected herself.  She seemed well and always said she felt fine when I asked how she was.  She was taking meds for hypertension, but all my friends do that, as do I.  We talked about two weeks ago and I’ve been thinking about calling her.  Procrastinating, as usual.  I’ve done that so much, you’d think I’d learn.  I feel such a void in my life.

I talked to Connie, another friend, today.  She’s just been discharged from the hospital where she was being treated for a cluster of clots in her left lung.  She’s on coumadin now.

And Ken, my son, is going tomorrow for a test to determine if he has an aortic anuerysm.

Beulah, bless her heart; I can just imagine, with Skip in the hospital, how she went back and forth to be with him, probably not eating right, getting too much salt, being stressed out because of his illness.  I feel so bad for her.  The world is not the same without her in it.

I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed.  I wish I had a strong faith to get me through.  I’ll work it out.  I always do, but I do have issues with death and loss and being alone.  At my age, loss is inescapable.  Always knocking at my door.

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7 thoughts on “Too Much Bad News

  1. Mary, you are not alone. I think most, if not all, of us have issues with death, loss, and loneliness. Be brave, you will get through it. I sometimes think it was the loss of my father that made me realise the fragility of life, and how precious time is. We just have to cherish the moment, don’t you think? The present moment.

    Hugs and kisses, hugs and kisses
    Vera
    PS: Stay well, and keep smiling. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

  2. Oh I am so terribly sorry.

  3. lucewriter on said:

    Mary, I’m so sorry for your loss. I wish I had words to console you. My prayers are with Ken and Connie. xo
    Luanne

  4. I’m truly sorry for your loss. Every age brings its own challenges, and of course it’s very hard to lose a friend. My prayers are with you. Much love xxx

  5. I’m sorry. I’d feel overwhelmed too. Jennypenny has lap therapy ready for you.

  6. Loss can be a powerful thing, but you are strong Mary and we are with you, if only in spirit.
    “A man with a grain of faith in God never loses hope, because he ever believes in the ultimate triumph of Truth.” -Mahatma Gandhi

  7. Pilgrim1966 on said:

    Sorry to hear of your loss and your pain. Keeping you in prayer.

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