My name

I started the process today of having my last name changed. This is the story behind such an action:

I was married to Forrest for 51 years.  He died in 2007.  I was lonely, met Richard and married him in 2011.  Just weeks  after our wedding, Richard fell ill and he died six months later of pancreatic cancer.  We spent a lot of time with hospice health care givers and Richard’s family and friends.  The circumstances prevented us from developing the give and take of a real marriage.

I was able to keep Richard at home, which was his greatest wish.  He died in his favorite chair in the living room with his family and friends around him and me holding his hand.

I knew that Richard’s first wife had been the love of his life;  I placed her photo on the mantel where he could see it and just be with her as he watched TV.

I’m glad I was there for him and able to help him die at home, but now I want to finish my life with the name of the husband I grew up and shared my love and most of my life with. I spoke with a lawyer today and the process has begun.  I feel as if I’ve taken the first step of coming back home.

8 thoughts on “My name

  1. I am very happy for you. I am sure you will be pleased with your decision. You are such a remarkable person with such an admirably benevolent heart — a true inspiration for all of us.

  2. Good for you Mary…I did the same thing twelve years ago. Except I took back my maiden name. I had decided that someday I would be a published writer and I wanted to honor MY family with that name instead of an ex and his family who threw me away with my achievements. Also its enabled people from my childhood to find me in the past few years. I understand exactly how you feel about taking care of someone you only knew briefly. That was so spectacular of you to put his wife’s phot where he could see her and feel comforted in her memory…while he was dying and for you to deal with his family and friends while he was so ill and you were so new to him and them. For you to nurse him at your age would be so hard and devastating to suffer that loss so soon after you had found a new love…I’m so sorry for that loss…But you are entitled to have the legal name of the man you shared most of your life with and I’m sure if he could, he’d give it to you himself all over again…

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