Time Out

Or as we used to say when I was young, “King’s X.”  The weight of the world’s problems is so great, my own personal  situation pales in comparison. But both keep me awake at night.

Lately it has been my home. I had to have a new dishwasher installed.  Replaced a burned out microwave. Twice. Had the washing machine fixed. The hall and laundry room floors replaced after a water heater leak, numerous trees trimmed, a new garbage disposal installed. And I need a new roof.  my insurance company will replace part of the cost of the floor and the roof. But that leaves a lot emptying my pockets.

The shootings, cages filled with live bodies, children crying for their parents, people losing their homes and possessions due to fire and floods.  the. Homeless. The hungry.  The sick.  All are so much more serious than my own personal worries.

The universe is hurting  I do what I can, which is so little  And I try to connect to the good news which I know is out there.  It’s GOT to get better!

 

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What? Again? Already?

Another mass shooting. This time in Dayton Ohio. 9 killed, 26 wounded. What is happening?  Will this be the time that Congress and Trump will be moved to DO something?  Or will the NRA win the day once again?  The country is grieving.   Many are fearful. No place in the USA is safe anymore.

All Too Familiar

Another shooting!  this time in El Paso, Texas. The third in a week’s time.  20 people killed, 26 injured.   Another hate crime

When will the government DO something?  The gun lobbyists own the Republican party and Mitch McConnel won’t allow any gun reform bills to move through the Senate. It’s depressing.

Each time this happens, Trump offers his prayers and condolences. Is that all he has?  DO something!  YOU have the power. For starters, stop spewing your hateful rhetoric, your messages of hate.  You are a piece of work. In my 92 years, I’ve never seen anything like you.

Yes, tonight I pray for the dead, the wounded, their families, for El Paso and for our country.  That’s all I can do for now.   That’s all I can do until I get to the ballot box.

 

“Heart Gifts”

Sunrise to Sunset

That’s what Karen calls them.  All the things she gives.  All the things she does.  I’m overwhelmed with all the love.  Don’t know how to handle it.

Karen arrived Tuesday with burgers from my favorite restaurant, Taylor’s.  The best burgers in town from a restaurant my husband and I frequented when we ddated over 70 years ago.  She also brought vegetables from her neighbor’s garden.

Since Karen arrived, she’s made macaroni and cheese, tomato soup, guacamole, and cucumber salad.  She bagged much of the food for the freezer to use later.  She wants to know what else I’d like her to make.

She thoroughly cleaned my kitchen, including the floor.

She sees problems and solves them, went out and bought a small doggie bed and a shower curtain liner to protect me and the bed from Jenny’s nocturnal incontinence.

She bought a pole and humming bird feeder and another hanging…

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Some Days Are Good!

February was a difficult month, physically.  Had some setbacks, saw a lot of professionals in the medical community.   No one knows what is causing my problems, so they don’t deal with it.  In the meantime, I just sort of ‘exist.’   Since I don’t get out, except to keep appointments, my life is rather dull.

I’ve lost a couple more friends.  Each time this happens, I’m filled with fear and dread.  Don’t think I need explain.

The brightness in my life has come from reading and writing.  I’ve joined an eight week writing class on Writers On the Nert called ‘Shadow Writing,’ which is digging deeper to help us get in touch with our authentic selves.  We’re in the sixth week.  I find the classes help motivate me to write.  I haven’t posted here for a while, but if it wasn’t for the class, I wouldn’t have written anything at all.  At least I have produced something for the class.

But the big news is that my last name is once again officially that of my husband of 51 years.  My lawyer called me today.  Now I just need to get a new social security card with my ‘new’ (old) name.  Hooray!  I can’t say how relieved I am.  It’s like coming home.  The other name felt so foreign and uncomfortable.  I can rest easy now.

 

Progress

I walked forty steps with my walker today.  Breathless afterwards and had to rest, but it’s a beginning.

The past few weeks have been brutal, physically.  Today was more of the same but I decided I can’t go on like this.  I have to do something!  So I pushed through discomfort and fear, clenched my teeth and just DID it!  Jenny walking beside me.  The sun is shining, the weather is mild.  I’m alive again!