Thank You and Best Wishes

Just want to wish everyone a healthy and happy new year.  May 2013 bring peace and safety to all parts of the world.  Thank you, my blogging friends, for your interest and support in me and my imperfect blog.  I’m amazed by the warmth and caring I’ve found here.  I can’t tell you how I’ve benefited from knowing you.  I hope to have more to give to you in 2013. Love and hugs. XO  Mary

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Where is Jenny?

She had her first grooming since her move to Missouri.  I hired a woman who drives a mobile unit and does the transformation in the driveway.   This week, she had to park in front of the house as there were other vehicles in the drive.

Jenny was at the door in a hour, looking like a little skinned rat!  My sweet girl has been hiding under a huge fur ball and now she’s clipped almost bare.  The top knot too short and her ear hair cut in half!  Her beautiful, long, lovely ears!  I wish I knew how to transfer photos from my iphone to wordpress, but, sigh, I haven’t learned that yet.  I hope the top knot and ears will grow out again.

She’s still sweet and lovable and my best friend.  She follows me everywhere I go.  This minute, as I type these words, she’s snuggled up against me, sleeping.

It’s 7:00 P.M.  Ken’s been gone since 3:00.  I keep the TV on to drown out the silence.  I have such a hard time being alone.  I loved it when I worked three jobs and had family coming and going.  Then, time alone was rare and precious.  Now, I have entirely too much of it.  The warmth of my loyal companion is relaxing and soothing.  I’m so grateful she’s in my life.

 

It’s All Good

Jenny Penny has been with us for two weeks now and she’s feeling at home.  She’s stopped using the deck for a toilet; runs down the ramp and dances in the grass, as if to say, “Hello grass!  I’ve missed you!”  And she goes alone while I wait at the door.  When she’s finished her job, she runs to the door, tail up, and jumps up  onto me, expecting lavish praise, which, of course, she gets.  When she’s excited, she spins and jumps and can hardly contain her joy.  She’s my constant companion; follows me wherever I go. When I’m seated, she stays close by my side, or in my lap.  She’s generous with kisses.  What more could I want?  I love this little sweetheart.  She’s my angel, my savior.  Life is good again.

JennyPenny

She’s 10, a red mini-poodle, on the small side.  She joined our family last Friday after a long flight that lasted all day, with two lay-overs.  She was tired and scared when she arrived.  My joy at having her was tempered by the knowledge that she was ripped from her other family and the only world she’d ever known to be with me.   I’m humbled and honored to be her new mother and I’ll do all in my power to make her comfortable and happy.

She’s eating well, drinking water and going outside to potty.  She does a happy dance (twirls in circles) when she’s excited, especially when she knows she’s going to get her thyroid pill wrapped in a piece of cheese.   She was very nervous about the cats at first; and though she’s still  not interacting with them, their presence in the room no longer makes her shake.  She mostly ignores them.

She’s a sweet, mild-mannered little soul and I love her already.

Unhappy Thoughts

Feeling low.  An emptiness I can’t fill.  Watching reruns on TV.  Trying to read.  Fixing meals.  Just going through the motions.

I’m sad, anxious.  Three weeks ago I began getting ready for Audrey, a lovely mini poodle from Daisy Hill Poodles.  Linda emailed pictures.  I fell in love.  A week ago, I got a call from Linda informing me that she wasn’t going to ship Audrey after all because she was afraid she wouldn’t do well with the flight.  Audrey is a mild mannered dog and the flight would be difficult, not to mention new people and a new life at the end of the line.  Actually, I was relieved that sweet Audrey wouldn’t have to make that trip.  I was worried about her myself.  But sad for me.

In the meantime, I’d bought a new ortho doggie bed, a nice collar, all the things I thought would make her comfortable.  I even hired someone to come and help arrange things in the house, with Audrey in mind.   No different from how I’d get ready for a family member or a friend.  As far as I was concerned, she WAS a family member, and I could hardly wait to welcome her into her new home.

What do I do with all that energy?  All those emotions?  I tell myself I have to forget her.  But I can’t.  She’s in my heart.  All this love, and no where to put it.

Lonely Tonight

I sit in bed, computer on my lap, TV on.  We had a severe storm earlier with high winds.  The lights blinked for a few seconds and I looked for the flashlight, but didn’t need it after all.

This is the day Audrey was supposed to arrive.  Her bed I ordered from Amazon arrived a week ago.  I took it out of the box and it’s been waiting.  How many times did I imagine her in it?  And the pretty collar?

The bed is still empty.  And it will never hold Audrey girl.

It’s amazing how I bonded with her having never seen her face to face.  It’s much like I felt when I carried my children.  You imagine and plan and wait.  I’m doing a kind of grieving.

Linda said she would send me some one else instead.  She also broke her foot stumbling over a cat and can’t take another to the airport right away, so there will be another wait.

It’s all right.  I don’t have any feelings for a new one right now.  I need to say goodbye to Audrey in my mind, though I know she’ll always be in my heart.